Everyone has the voice that tells them they are not worthy, aren't good enough. Some have better control over it than others. Mine has reared its ugly head after some dormancy because I'm getting rejected from grad school.
I will starve it with awareness until it disappears.
Let it go.
The negative thoughts don't have power unless you give it to them.
I had a good cry out last night. One I've been procrastinating against for a couple of weeks. The script was a great distraction. Going home, a comforting, joyous one. But yesterday I found myself in the middle of the darkness and couldn't get out.
Now that I have a solid sobbing hangover--not a pretty sight--and explored the depths of those feelings, I'm ready to unbury. To come back to life. There is a fight in me. Passion maybe. That forces me up, tells me they are wrong to doubt me, that I am wrong to doubt me.
I come back with more strength than before. A more solid existence with purpose and heart. I look forward to the future and garner strength from the past. But I will live in the present. Try desperately to live here and now. It is difficult to be a witness to your thoughts. To shoo them away, the good and the bad alike, to be where you are in the moment. That is the place I wish to live.
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